Communication does not need to be difficult

Communication is a significant building block to any effective relationship, whether it’s with an ex-partner, a work colleague or others. It is normal that we sometimes miscommunicate, but most issues can be avoided.  Harmony can be restored by following a few simple steps.

Toppako has been built to help you navigate a difficult relationship where communication has become a struggle. Our digital tool will work with you as you move through these steps.  It provides the support necessary to make good decisions for yourself on how you want to send and receive text and email messages.

According to registered psychologist Maria Rodrigues from Carina Medical & Specialist Centre (Brisbane, Queensland) said that people often have difficulty communicating when they are faced with (or experiencing) significant emotional stress. Logic and clarity can be lost making an already difficult situation worse. This undoubtedly affects the people around you. It also impacts your own well-being emotionally, mentally and physiologically. This distress may negatively affect the family including the children.

Helpful tips

Here are some tips from Toppako to help you avoid unnecessary stress.

  1. Find the right time. A lot of the time, we try to talk to others they are occupied with something else, and clarity can be hard to come by when you do that. Wait until you have the chance to really communicate.
  2. Ask for clarity. If you do not fully understand what the other person is saying or asking of you, get clarification. This can be a challenge when there is an emotional trigger in play, but that’s why this is so important. Without clear communication, you both will continue to be frustrated.
  3. Learn to respect and understand any cultural differences. These days, almost everyone is from ‘somewhere else’. Just coming from different cities can make a big difference— imagine a relationship between someone from Darwin and someone from Melbourne. Two completely differing lifestyles, climates, and ways of getting around. There is a natural learning curve when you become involved with anyone, so be patient.
  4. Take your time. Sometimes people can talk too fast or send a message prematurely that doesn’t have the effect they were hoping for. Remember to slow down, breathe and think before you send any messages. This can help avoid a lot of awkward moments.
  5. HALT if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or T.  It’s not a good time to have a discussion with anyone in these frames of mind. Eat, calm down, talk with a good friend, and get some rest before you turn whatever you are feeling into a discussion point. Feelings do not always line up with real facts, and what you are feeling may not be what you are really upset about. Take care of yourself, and then communicate.
  6. Always be truthful. I know that, from time to time, we all tell white lies to save the feelings of another person – it’s only human. The problem with this is, that if the other person finds out the truth, it will further damage the core of the relationship you are trying to maintain: which is, trust. Being honest up-front can save you from a lot of pain down the road.
  7. Don’t sit on your pain. If something is troubling you, it’s best to talk about it sooner than later. This conversation is very important but remember – safety first. Only have conversations you are comfortable and feel safe with starting.

Lean on Toppako for information exchange

If you are going to have a serious conversation with someone, lean on Toppako to help navigate how the best message could be to sent to the other person. It will use a traffic light system (red, green, orange) to let you know whether a message can be improved before sending. This can help you avoid provoking the other person unnecessarily, especially when high emotions are involved. It also does much, much more – you can learn more about what Toppako can do for you here.