Have we forgotten about etiquette?

There’s something just not OK about receiving a message that makes your stomach sink and your eyes water. Why do people communicate like that? Would they have said that, if they were speaking to you? You know, as in a face-to-face communication? Somewhere along the way, some of us have lost our ability to filter what we say. Or perhaps, this little piece of etiquette has been lost along with common courtesies, manners and general pleasantries.  It’s a fact – words hurt!

Please don’t think I am associating this with any particular generation.  That is not the case.  I’m sure we have all been guilty of this at some point.

With smartphones and technology always at our fingertips, it’s easier to say what we want, when we want and about whoever and whatever we want. There is a level of anonymity, hiding behind a screen that displays emotionless characters and using an alias, to protect our real identity. We can go on with our own lives, feeling better about “getting that off our chest”.

And therein lies a problem.

We don’t have to deal with the other person’s expressions. Or their physical reaction. We are at a disadvantage by not seeing the subtle flinch, a raised eyebrow or a questioning frown. We have no idea of the impact our words had.

Words hurt. They can cause untold harm and distress.

Think before you type – words hurt.

I remember a wise “aunt” who I adored, once saying, “if you wouldn’t say it to their face, then why say it at all?”  That phrase, that voice and more importantly “that” tone rumble around in my head to this day. Without knowing it, my aunt shared her wisdom and handful of tips about communication etiquette, respect, and integrity.

Back then, long before smartphones, my aunt was referring to the disgrace of gossiping and public shaming. She probably had no idea that one day, a multi-million dollar industry would be created from gossiping, her pearls of wisdom have stood the test of time.

They feel even more relevant today, as showcased in this powerful video from LIVIN.

It’s not always easy to keep calm, especially when our favourite team loses a game, we disagree with something, or someone else’s comments are unkind.  When relationships become strained, remaining positive and respectful becomes even hard.

Sometimes, despite the kind words and support of loved ones and close friends, we need help to communicate with someone, when a relationship is no longer working. Toppako can help you to maintain etiquette, connect right and stop the hurt.

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